hey, are you ok?

no, but february will be nice

It’s all an irrational feeling but I can’t help myself, so here we are in 2023 and the foolishness continues.

It’s been quiet. Holidays are over and January is over and I realized I haven’t done anything to progress my life. The beginning of the year, aka the entire month of January, has a curious vibe. Christmas trees remain in the living room (serious question: do you continue to turn the lights on or just leave them off and enjoy the lingering Christmas scent?) and it feels like a good time to make a little life progress because everyone seems to find this newfound energy this time of year. But honestly, it’s been a blah kind of month and I think I’m still recovering from December.

I wrote an essay last month, but it’s still in my drafts. It’s entitled “not to be a grinch, but…” As you can gather, it’s pretty cynical. Too cynical, I decided, and my cynicism was not going to prevail this time. But I even created a Christmas playlist to share and make up for the cynicism. Here’s the playlist anyway, for next year.

This cynical essay wasn’t intended to be written. I didn’t sit down and want grinch vibes to pour out. They just did. It just happened. I started writing and, for some unknown reason, grinching out and grumbling about the holidays was just there, fore-fronted in my thoughts. It went something like this:

“Another year almost over. Maybe my head isn’t screwed on just right or my shoes are too tight, but this time of year tends to make me snarl with a sneer. Winter is the time of year for serenity, but it’s also the time of year for the big holiday. Like, the BIG big one. The one where people spend generous amounts on gifts and food and decorations and everything feels rushed trying to get it all accomplished and squared away by a deadline. Serenity becomes riddled with anxiety. There are crowds in every shop and all are there for the same reasons, rushing and grabbing their wants and needs before you beat them to it.

“Jovial music plays everywhere and television sets across the world stream the true voices of Christmas (Boris Karloff and Jean Shepherd and yay for this at least) and everyone is pushed into getting in the festive spirit and everything is bright and jolly and green and red and a spiritual movement of remembering what is of actual importance in life and wanting to better oneself, physically and mentally, becomes more prominent in daily thinking.

“And then a second BIG big holiday arrives and goals are created come the new year, using anticipation for motivation. Eat better. Read more. Less tv. But why do we wait? Why is the new year this magical date to start something new? It’s not logical, only hopeful. Just do it! Do it now! Start today! What’s stopping you?

“Not to be a grinch, but clearly I can’t help myself.”

Damn. I said my cynicism wasn’t going to prevail this time, but here we are. Here it is. And see? All pointless thoughts. It’s all noise! noise! noise! But it’s over now. Both BIG big holidays have passed by once again and the year is quiet at present. Most of the excitement from resolutions has dwindled and normalcy is making an appearance. If you made resolutions for the new year and have stuck with them, congratulations! That’s actually huge and I commend you! Stick with it! You got this!

February will be nice. Progress will be made.

Hope everyone had joyful holidays!

My wife, Jennifer, enjoys the Jennifer songs I like to find, so here’s another one: “Jennifer’s Jacket” - The Presidents of the United States of America.