the audacity of a wasp

c'est la vie, she said

She chose my side mirror at the gas station. I’m not sure when exactly she made this decision, but it was somewhere between me getting out of Huck, my jeep, and putting in the nozzle after paying.

I kept staring at her. On one hand, I was hoping she would feel my anxiety and take pity and go away. On the other hand, I was hoping she would wait until I safely got back in Huck so I could keep a visual on her and then she could fly away.

The nozzle clicked off. She chose the latter as I safely got back in. But she didn’t fly away after I slammed the door shut. It didn’t even phase her, to be honest.

I guessed she was up for a ride because I was leaving and she was not.

What a pain. WHAT A DISTRACTION.

I kept glancing at her every few seconds to see if she was still holding on tightly. She always was and she looked smug about her decision. She looked quiet with no worries. No suffocation distress. Just chilling. Coasting along, wind in her hair like it’s nothing. 😎

At a stop light, she cleaned herself. I watched with intrigue. I almost felt invested in her now and responsible for her safety. Wtf.

C’est la vie, she said.

My grudge toward her faded in that moment. My perception changed about the whole situation. She did that. She reminded me (at least for now because this isn’t some new fangled idea) to let go of stressers - whatever little ones I had been holding on to for some stupid reason - because at the end of the day, there’s no point in holding space in your mind for things that can’t be changed.

She flew away as the light turned green, like she had just been waiting for my hard head to loosen up.

I named her Lucy, short for Lucifer, meaning “bearer of light,” because that’s what she did for me. She brought forth light to this sunny day. What a punk.