The Concept(s) of Cold Pizza [for Breakfast]
A relentless thought
“No, Grandma. I’m not just being lazy. I like cold pizza.”
The notion of not re-heating pizza was unfathomable to my grandmother (she never understood the notion of warm water either, but that’s another story). She broke it down to being lazy and determined it was impossible that cold pizza could taste good (if not better). She most likely thought my brother and I had been lying to her for years about how good it is just to get a rise out of her.
Along with my grandmother’s determination, this cold pizza nonsense can be categorized along the same lines of a stereotypical bachelor’s lifestyle. Maybe a little bit on the unhealthy side of living when a semi-typical night could look like this:
Friends over, have some beers, order some pizzas, have a great night, wake up the next morning to beer bottles on the coffee table and along the kitchen counter, find one friend asleep on the couch with his hand resting on the chest of another friend asleep on the floor, and pizza boxes scattered with only bits of pizza crust remaining inside. But in the fridge lies one pizza box that someone put in during the night. Cold pizza lies within and it is the only food source in the house.
But to those siding with my grandma, oh no. Some may question if cold pizza is even a real breakfast. Well, define real. Bacon and eggs? Oatmeal? Cereal? No. Cold pizza is the breakfast of champions and is a real breakfast.
But somewhere down the road in the English language, “cold pizza” became more than literal cold pizza. It became a figurative phrase and now could have different connotations.
It could represent un-domestication. Or un-sophistication. Or could it mean that one is bold? Dare I say daring? It could represent laziness, as my grandma suggested. Or maybe it’s just a metaphor for boring.
“You’re not gonna warm that up?”
“Man, that’s so boring. You’re so boring.”
So hot pizza would represent exciting?
It’s more than likely just judgmental people compensating for something internal.
But the real question and the question that it all comes down to – figurative language aside – how does it taste? Is it good? Is it better than last night when it was hot? Or is it worse? Comparable?
This random thought just needed to be written down and the answers to my questions are inconclusive since it’s based on personal opinion. There is no definitive answer, just individual ones.
If you have never been so bold and lazy to not re-heat your pizza, I recommend it. Good stuff.
It’s a savage lifestyle. Embrace the boring.